Unlike Gaius, whom John commended when he wrote 3 John, Diotrephes is a man John notes as a troublemaker. It appears that Diotrephes was in a role of influence. John mentions several things
(3 John v.9,10).
· He loves prominence.
· He is insubordinate to the apostles, doesn't welcome them and even slanders them.
· He withholds hospitality.
· He expels those who disagree with him.
By contrast, godly leaders learn to love hiddenness. They want God, not themselves, to receive glory. They have learned that a person "is tested by the praise he receives (Proverbs 27:21) and they are wary of praise from man.
They realize that "insubordination is as witchcraft" (1 Samuel 15:23) and that submission is not a four letter word. They have learned that we can only exercise divine authority when we are appropriately under it (See Matthew 8:5-13).
Unlike Diotrephes, godly leaders value hospitality and see it as a way to serve and not lord it over those under their care. And they are not threatened by people who see things differently.
I have now celebrated 40 years of formal pastoral leadership and I have personally met a Diotrephes or two. Each of them initially ascended to his position because of an obvious gifting and a charm that many found endearing, but in time it became clear that their leadership was not modeled after the Lord of the Church who came, not to be served, but to serve. Time is too short for it to be wasted under toxic leaders. Offer a word of correction, but do not be surprised if you are faulted for being disloyal. Move on and find your place in God's Kingdom where you can thrive under the influence of whole and healthy leaders.