I know that I do not have the final word on this- or any subject- and that on my best day, with the full advantage of outstanding scholarship and the influence of the Holy Spirit, I must say, "I only know in part and look through a darkened window."
That said, I find myself impelled to speak about something I have been observing for some while. While most of the Church is in an uproar about "the homosexual agenda," I find myself more troubled about what is happening among heterosexuals who claim faithfulness to Jesus.
It is extremely uncommon these days for Christians who are dating to abstain from sex until they are married. Like my longtime friend, Curt Frankhauser, used to say, "The devil will do everything he can to get you to have sex before you are married and to keep you from having it after you are married."
It is as if there are no qualms whatsoever about heterosexual conduct outside of marriage. Do we understand that God has spoken in very clear terms about abstaining from immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3)? Do we know that immorality includes any sexual activity outside of marriage? Do we realize that abstinence, from a biblical point of view, means no sexual touching outside of marriage? God never intended that we compartmentalize sex in the way American society does- as if it is okay to do everything except the act of penetration before marrying. Most people who engage in those behaviors claim, "We're not having sex." If a married person does those things with someone other than his spouse, is that claim legitimate for him?
When church leaders learn of single, faith-professing congregants who are sexually active, what do they do? Usually nothing! Why? I am curious about that.
We are not helping couples who are willfully sinning by giving this behavior a pass. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "Nothing can be more cruel than the leniency which abandons others to their sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one's community back from the path of sin."